I don’t know why I write this to you, yes you … you who’re sleeping on the bed in that room. I mean, you and our child. Uh, should I just stop here? Coz I know I can hardly send this to you.
But I may need to write this right now … just to release the unnecessary words in my head. Hopefully, I get some sleep then. That’s just fine, right?
Alas, now I can’t remember what I want to write. Maybe it’s about what I feel about us this time. I don’t if you realize it or not, but I feel that there’s distance between us. Yes, we’re like couple of husband and wife when we entered this house, house that we used to call ‘home’. But now, it seems like we just two friends who live together. What a scary feeling … at least for me.
I’m still wondering why that feeling comes to my head, yes my head, not into my heart. I also think that I may be worried too much. I don’t know. Truly, I don’t know. I just realize that we never talk anymore, real talk. Alright, we may have small talk in the morning or short conversation later in the afternoon. But don’t you see that we never really ‘talk’ about us?
I understand you may be too tired after working all day, and I may be too busy for being a baby sitter. Aa … I know that I should’ve use those as the reason or alibi. Then, I start questioning how come we can’t find time to have a ‘heart-to-heart’ talk anymore. Is it too difficult? *sigh*
Now my head begins to buzz meaningless sounds. I think I’ll just stop here. It’s almost dawn anyway. We do agree that I must wake up early today, right? So, it is. I think it’s enough for now. Have a soundless sleep, my dear.